A Forest of Memories
by ThUnDeR2
Summary: Painful memories of her fifth year cause Hermione to come to terms with her feelings...and in an unusual way. Slight RHr allusion.


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A/N: This is just something I wrote as a form of coping with and digesting book 5. It started out as the Forbidden Forest Sugarquill Challenge, but as it's a *tad * longer than a thousand words, so… I found it the other day, finished it, and cleaned it up a little. If it's a bit confuzzling, I do apoligize. 

A Forest of Memories

Hermione Granger was outside in her backyard. 

It was a bright, pleasantly warm summer's day, and one of the mildest there had been in weeks. A wonderful breeze ruffled the trees, and she leaned forward on her hands, pulling her legs in from her Indian-style position in order to sit back on them. She wiggled her feet in the grass, enjoying the feeling of the soft blades lightly scratching back and forth in between her toes. 

Such a perfect day made for quite an ironic contrast to her mood. 

Hermione had been home from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for two weeks, but the ride back on the Hogwarts Express was so fresh in her mind, it felt as though she could have just stepped off to meet her parents and say her good-byes to Ron, Ginny, the rest of the Weasleys, and Harry…. Oh, _Harry_.

He had seemed so shallow those last two days – Harry had withdrawn so far inside himself that it became as though his body was a thin, brittle wrapping, struggling to keep the pained and subdued soul inside from succumbing to it's darkest wish and dying out. He was so… distant. More distant than ever, if that was possible…

Her heart went out to him. It was so horrible seeing him that way; she knew he was in such pain, though he had not told her or even Ron why. _It was because of Sirius_, she told herself, though somehow she knew this was only part of the truth, _he was mourning Sirius_. Hermione let out the breath of wasted air she realized she had been holding for several moments too long. She gazed up at the nearly empty sky, searching for something- she knew nothing was there, she didn't even know what she was looking for_-_

And then she saw it. A budgie.

She was oddly reminded of the previous summer holiday- there had been some rubbish story one day about a bloke who'd taught one to water ski. 

The brightly colored bird dipped lower, fluttering down, and came to rest on her shoulder.

It was out of surprise that Hermione did not, at first, question it's intentions of landing on her, yet of reason and quick wit that she did not start or speak. She slowly and very deliberately raised a hand to touch the violent feathers, but the bird, who seemed to have other ideas, flew away, brushing her cheek lightly with its wings and giving her shoulder a small squeeze with it's toes that she was sure it had ment to do. 

Feeling oddly deserted, she started to call out to it, but was distracted by a slightly heavy weight on her shoulder - wonderful, Mr. Water Skis had gone and done his business before he left- but as she looked to her side it was a very different sort of present she found. Her _Time Turner-_ exactly as Hermione remembered it from her third year; she knew it was the very same one. Too excited to properly think things through, she snatched it up and attached it around her neck, instantly immensely comforted in having its presence about her, yet before she had time to understand any further, she felt a jerk around her navel. The safety of her Muggle neighborhood smudged and blurred as though in a blender of colors and emotions. … Where was she going? The Portkey seemed oblivious to her question. New feelings began to surround her, and senses she hadn't used in twelve days reawakened… the world stopped spinning, and even before she could see her surroundings, Hermione knew where she was. She gracefully fell to the earth, twisting around and landing on her seat, legs once again curled beneath her, though this time, she quickly rose, anticipation building in the pit of her stomach.

She was in the Forbidden Forest. Oh _dear…_

Though immediately sure of where she was, Hermione had never seen this part of the forest before: as far as she could tell, this was the opposite side from which where Hogwarts stood, and she knew she would be even more hopelessly lost if she went out in search of her school. All she could do, Hermione realized with a shiver, was wait for the Time-Turner to turn back into a Portkey…

A _Time Turner_! She had somehow forgotten what that ment. She had the power to replay minutes, hours… even _years_…

How dearly she wanted to take it and turn back the days- to warn her two weeks younger self of the trap that laid ahead, to capture that evil Umbridge woman, even go back to the end of fourth year and tell Harry not to enter the maze… but even as the thought occurred, the Time-Turner warmed to the touch of her skin and began to burn. No, she mustn't - everything happened for a reason, it was not for her to decide… but the thought of all that could possibly be saved ached inside her, and the Time Turner physically projected the agony. She let out a small squeal and struggled to take it off - it burned hotter in response, heating by the second; it had to be gnawing at her skin- she writhed, twisting her whole body in the struggle to stop the horrible pain. It _would not come off_; it would burn her alive— At last, half by instinct, half last resort, Hermione gave an awful wrench and tore it from her neck. She mercilessly watched the little hourglass fall, in seemingly slow motion, as it did perfect somersaults in the air. It fell to the ground with the earsplitting noise of breaking glass, 100 times louder than natural. She covered her ears, and watched the pure, fine grains of the sands of Time run off a stump and away down into the earth. 

Breathing hard, she backed away, quite ready to leave, but her stomach did a sickening clench and her heart seemed to skip a beat as she realized she had just destroyed her only way home. Hermione fought down the panic threatening to overcome what little seemed to be left of her common sense- what was she _thinking_, destroying that thing?_ Doing it in before it got me,_ she thought, still feeling ill.

Control, she had to keep control, stay calm, stay collected… But there seemed very little way that she could think herself out of this. Resisting the urge to moan into the evening musty air, Hermione took a steadying breath. _Work through this_ she thought. _You've gotten yourself out of much worse…_

She was suddenly distracted by a sound from somewhere far away - she could not describe it further other than it seemed to be that of a person. Hermione twisted around, searching everywhere, but she did not know what she was searching for. _Nobody's there_, Something told her... But the other part of her said somebody _was_ there. But where had they gone? 

Confused and disappointed, she made a noise of desperation.

"Ah, there's nothing to worked up about," said a passing shadow of vibrant hair. 

Relief spread through Hermione, and she called out to her friend.

"Ron!" She exclaimed, talking very fast. "You're here, too! What's happening? Did the budgie-"

"A whadgie?" he asked, now coming fully into view.

"A - oh, never mind."

"Anyway, I dunno what this is all about, but I reckon I must've just Apparated here," said Ron, mouth twitching slightly. Annoyance rose up in her at the speeds only Ron could induce.

"You_ cant-_" She began, but Ron only walked up to her and put a freckled finger to her lips with a smile as slight as the blush radiating beautifully on his cheeks. The place where his finger rested tingled nearly to the point of a heavenly numbness, and not even the second before she knew she could take no more, he drew away, and faded into the shadows. She saw the tip of one very red ear disappear, and he was gone. 

Once again subdued, though too much in shock to express it much, Hermione let out a sigh.

It was met with silence, but it wasn't the normal kind, if there was such a thing. This was both sadly familiar and all –encompassing; it was one of the most depressing things she had ever felt, after, perhaps, the Dementors… But instead of going ice cold, her surroundings felt… endlessly deep. And so _dark_- but not evil at all. It felt like - 

"Harry?"

And he was there. Standing in front of her, an expression of questioning neutrality on his face. 

"I didn't need to see that just now," he said.

Hermione's insides were then seemingly removed. She decided to play dumb.

"See what?" she asked entirely too quickly. Harry's eyebrows shot above his messy black fringe.

"Oh! That! No!- I mean- it- I…. No!"

"It's okay, Hermione,"

"No, really it- it was- we were just…but-"

"-You love Ron, Ron loves you," Harry interrupted, an odd expression on his face, blushing slightly. " Suppose I have to get used to this sort of thing, don't I?"

Though thoroughly shocked to hear the words aloud, Hermione felt them blaze through the entire of her body, starting from somewhere in her chest and spreading clear to the tips of her toes. It was true; she loved Ron- down to every single freckle- and she always would. All she could do at first was nod, and Harry gave a good - natured smirk. It was good to see Harry entertained at something- even if it was the prospect of her and Ron.

"I'm glad you're better," Hermione said in a rush. "I was really worried at the end of school - are you okay?" The smirk died away as quickly as it had come.

"I'm fine," said Harry defiantly, and it tore at her heart even more to hear the ill-repressed pain in his voice.

"You're not!" cried Hermione. " I know you're not! When have you ever been 'fine'--" She bit her lip, ready for Harry to explode at her in fury. To her surprise, his expression softened slightly, and for a second, Hermione thought he was going to crack- the idea frightened her beyond all belief- Harry _didn't_ cry. Harry was strong through everything, even when he had every reason to absolutely bawl. He _couldn't_ cry… 

He didn't, though what he did do seemed almost worse. He just stared at her- a brilliant green, empty stare that said, quite plainly, 'why?'

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I don't know why, she thought_ I'm so sorry…_

The hollow in Harry's eyes seemed to intensify, but all he said was, "You're right. I'm not okay."

Harry turned his back on her, seeming to blur as he did. His scar whipped around, momentarily motifed with many locks of jet-black hair, and then he disappeared as well.

Now she was thoroughly depressed, and prepared to give up looking for a way home. Maybe she could just try a bit of wandless magic- _someone_ had to be around. Or some_thing_. She shivered. It was quickly approaching dusk- how had that much time passed? It was nearly full light when she had appeared in the Forest, it seemed to be going by so quickly…

Almost in answer to her last thought, she heard a giggle.

"Ginny?" Asked Hermione, by now knowing the drill.

"Oh - hi Hermione," Ginny smiled at her, her bright hair catching the last rays of sunset. "I imagine you're ready to go back by now, so I'll say this quick and shut up so you can get on your way." She grinned broadly, yet to Hermione it seemed to be tinged with an unnatural maturity for someone almost fifteen… not just maturity, actual _age_- it had been there all along, and she'd never noticed…. She had seen it before in someone else too, and suddenly realized with a jolt that that person was Harry. She swallowed, looking back up to the brown eyes that were regarding her mellowly.

"Never noticed how old I am until two weeks ago, did you?" she asked. "Neither did Ron - the _prat_- or Harry, for that matter. In fact the only person who did was Neville, but that didn't do much good until recently, when he finally realized he was somebody." Ginny looked to one side, and the noise Hermione had heard earlier returned to her ears, growing into a shape of a person. Neville smiled slightly, waved, and disappeared again. Ginny looked back at Hermione to continue.

" Oh- and congratulations, all three of you are now officially two million Kilometers ahead of my dear family- they still think I'm in diapers." She rolled her eyes, but they popped open again. "Oooh! I'm sorry; I _told_ you I'd never shut up! You probably want to know how to get out of here, not learn about my diapers- so anyway, as you might have noticed, it looks like you're in the Forbidden Forest."

Hermione nodded.

"Really?" Said Ginny gingerly, sounding slightly amused. "You sure about that, Hermione? Gosh, being tired must really impair even _your_ judgement. Oops! Staying focused- " She grinned sheepishly. "Right, well- two things. Good, general, Dumbledore-like advice, really. One: Things are not as they seem, and Two (which I know you'll just love): Trust your _heart_, not your mind." She began to protest, but Ginny cut her off. "Hermione – this forest is filled to the bloody brim with magic creatures… do you think the actual forest itself is any different? _Listen_, and not with your ears! Your mind doesn't work correctly when it's here, anyway…" Ginny gave her a wink, did one 'He got off' war chant bounce, and disappeared, flaming hair and all. 

Hermione stared at the spot where her friend had just been for a few moments. Out of pure habit she began to think very hard, until she heard Ginny's aggravated groan in her head-

Only she hadn't _heard _it. She had felt it. It had come from some deep, happy memory, and it brought her joy, even through the forest, whose light seemed to have stopped dying out, and was stationary at a position of later evening; a bit more than two- thirds the way through. Five-sevenths, maybe… 

She tried very hard to let her love penetrate the places her mind could not go, and, very slowly, she felt it working…

And then it clicked - all of it. Her eyes, which she unconsciously closed, sprang open. Of course- the _trees._ You don't have a forest without them, after all. Life that begins as a seed and grows strong and tall into a wisdom beyond words. Trees had ancient magic, too. They were Secret-Keepers of the earth, really… The forest held memories… the memories of anyone ever to pass through it, and she, having passed many times, had been left many lessons there, things she would need for…

For closure.

There had been more left among the earth that evening, and Hemione knew that she had found what she had left before; what she could then give and now she had need of… and it- all of it- made sense… the wind swept around her once more…

Night and morning seemed to have been skipped and things had gone straight to afternoon. The sun was bright, the grass was green, and…

And…

Grass?

Hermione rolled over; eyes wide open even in the sunlight. It was morning -or afternoon. Or… something. She looked up at the clear blue sky of her back yard, as if to ask it questions. How long had she slept? What had happened? It had no answers for any of these, but a new feeling was resting in Hermione; she felt… settled. Healed. And loved, but-

Had it all really been a dream…?

A/N: As always, if you read, please review!


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